I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
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