he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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