you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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