i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
