singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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