I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
