I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
