there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize