New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
we should paint friendship bongs
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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