Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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