i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize