why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
