we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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