You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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