we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
