She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
