she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
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Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
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When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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