It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
