They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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