So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i think my cat just said my name.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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