"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
