i think i recognize dicks better than faces
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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