Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
