I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
