When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So much Jack, so little girl.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
