i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
