bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
