I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
