Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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