I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
