That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
