I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize