I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
