all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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