How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
