Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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