At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
