Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
