I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
