if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize