I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
this hospital has no fireball
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
