no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
