mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
