just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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