I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
