I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Are my feet made of real feet?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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