Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
whose parrot is this?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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