Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
