They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
