I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
