thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
so much tequila, so little girl.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
