Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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