In the future we'll all be gay
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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