Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
