At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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