Will you blow on my dice?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I need to align my fucking chakras
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
