We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
