Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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